The Key To Healthy Marriages
One of the most transforming services provided by Encounter Ministry is their weekend event for couples.
The ministry’s Men’s Encounters and Women’s Encounters typically fill up shortly after they open for registration. The Marriage Encounters remain more of a hidden gem for the ministry.
According to Co-Founders Richard & Shelli Wenschlag marriage is at the core of what the ministry was built to support. Many of those attending Men’s and Women’s Encounters are looking to bring healing and strength to their marriages and families.
Although it’s not required, it is recommended that couples first attend a Men’s or Women’s Encounter before signing up for the Marriage version. Those individual events provide an element of self-reflection that is important to making the Marriage Encounters as impactful as possible.
What they’ll discover, is what the Wenschlags consider to be one of the secret treasures of the ministry.
“What I love about the marriage encounter, it’s not as intense as the other (men’s and women’s) encounters are,” Shelli says.
One of the unique qualities of the weekend is that there isn’t finger pointing and blame.
“It’s not about coming and saying, ‘If you could just fix him or if you can just fix her, you know, then we’ll be good,’” Shelli says. “It’s designed to be very self-reflective so that when the couples are coming together, they’re sharing what they’ve learned about themselves.”
One of the secrets to the weekend’s success was the result of a practical space requirement. The Anchor Point Lodge has a beautiful cabin feel to it, with larger rooms with multiple beds. In order to accommodate as many couples as they could for the event, it meant sharing these larger rooms.
Because of this, the women sleep together in their comfortable beds in one section of the building, and men sleep in a different space throughout the weekend.
This arrangement turned out to be a blessing.
“Richard and I had attended marriage retreats in the past and they would almost always end up with us having arguments in the hotel room in between sessions,” Shelli says. “That’s because we never had a chance to fully process what we were learning in the teachings and times of self-reflection.”
What they discovered somewhat by accident was this approach provides for much more pleasant car rides home.
“They are together during the Encounter,” Shelli says, “but they also have plenty of time to be working through issues themselves. Because of this, they finish the weekend without blaming each other, and instead experience a renewed sense of hope and encouragement.”
These unique sleeping arrangements also make it a welcome opportunity for pre-marriage couples to attend in order to lay down a foundation for a for healthy, Godly relationship.
“We don’t have the huge turmoil that you hear about at other marriage retreats,” Richard says. “We’re getting incredible feedback from those who attend who say they leave the weekend on a great note, feeling they will be able to work things out in a much more productive manner.”
“Both of those in the relationship feel heard,” Shelli says. “They become more self-aware of what they are contributing to the marriage from their past, and their families of origin. And now for the first time they feel equipped to work through those challenges.”
There is much thought and preparation that goes into making these encounters as transformative as possible, but the key to the ultimate success of these events is quite foundational.
“Our goal is helping them to put Christ at the center of their marriage,” Shelli says. “When you put Christ at the center then a plethora of ills in a relationship begin to heal.”
